you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
You're earring is so big in my mouth
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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