hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
