sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
