yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
