Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
