On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Randomize
