Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
