Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
