She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
whose parrot is this?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
