your parents love me but you hate me
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
