Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
