i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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