Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Randomize
