This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
