Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
