And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
