josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
