Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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