I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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