Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
