i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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