yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
