My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
