Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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