So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
