I want to make a zoo with you.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
All the doctor said was why
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
