My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
