note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
