I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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