Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
