The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Do vagina's smell?
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
