I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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