you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
