grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
