question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
