the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
