wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
