I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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