Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
