Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
