I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
