please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just threw up on my dentist
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
