i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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