im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
