does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You've changed since you got that strap on
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
