I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
