i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
