Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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