He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
