drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
So much rum. So many feels.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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