I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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