I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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